516 593 9760 gary@rabenko.com

Photo Prose:   At the Wedding Part II

 

To a photographer, there are many illogical assumptions at a wedding.   A family will ask in the middle:  “We haven’t had a portrait in a long time, could you just take a quick picture?”  Later they will care how they look.   “That is what the professional did?!?” 

 

Some photographers strive to do the best that can be done.   Most instead of analyzing, just do what they always have been doing, what they were taught by other who always did what they were doing, or what they were told they should do.

 

So you have a lot of photographers doing the same thing, and a lot of people planning very special, and unique events, who later will feel that the photography is nothing special.  Worse, you have a few photographers who are concerned, creative, and caring, instead of being appreciated, they are being criticized, and misunderstood.

 

Should the photographer be unobtrusive, or control the wedding?   Most readers, will say, NOT to control the wedding, and that they hate pushy photographers who try to control the wedding.   I agree.   So the photographer is to do the best that can be done at each stage of the way?   Right?  Or did I misunderstand?

They are singing “If I Forget Thee O Jerusalem, parents alternate between glancing heavenward, and at each other.   Some have tears, some cannot wait to hear the glass shattering, and are already watching for that moment.   I am standing where the audience cannot see.   The couple with their back to the audience are emotionally expressive, and involved in so many ways, my photos are priceless.   A small table holds the wine and glasses, blocking all view of the Groom’s feet.  Those watching, expect that I will fly all the way around the Chupah, squeeze through the Chupah, somehow come to the audience’s side, to get the “breaking of the glass”.   Will I see faces?  Few?

 

Usually the couple’s face are not visible, as they do not turn 90 degrees to each other.

Parents faces?  More likely one or more will be blocked by decorative foliage.    Of course, there is the likelihood, that a Rabbi, witnesses, or even the caterer’s assistant, who readies the glass for that moment, either moves in, or fails to move out at that moment and will block the shot.

 

What is the shot?   Is it a man’s shoe, poised above a white wrapped orb on the floor, or is the shot really entire crowd’s focus on that area?    Will a close up of just the foot and glass suffice?    You laugh at the idea!  You want to see faces.   So do I.

 

Ok, I could continue to paint this moment.   But here is the reality.   If getting that shot, is absolutely vital, then the people who might easily block it from view, should understand, when asked in advance to move.   The audience watching should understand, when they might not be able to see, due to at least one photographer, one videographer and possibly more crew.   Since that shot, involves being back about 10-20 feet (depending on what other persons should be included, standing nearby), It won’t be possible to nudge, remind, or request anyone to move out of the way, at the very instant of glass breaking.   Yet nudging a second early will be ignored and a second later is too late!

 

An idea:  Everyone knows there is a photographer present.   Everyone understands that the client would like the shot.   The photographer is not invisible, and while not blocking the audience yet, the angle needed is pretty obvious.   So those involved could be sure to allow the audience (and thereby the cameras), an opportunity to see.

 

Will they?   Probably not.  Is that so terrible,  I do not think so.

I think that the wedding, and all the thoughts, and prayers at that moment is what’s important.  I think that for me to even consider moving up, suddenly tapping, touching, or talking to anyone, and moving back, is the height of disrespect for the moment, and for the many who are emotionally involved at the moment, for whom just the needed sudden movement would be a distraction.   Eye contact and body language could work, but only if those involved, want to be distracted just then, and such is a dangerous assumption, and a dubious attempt.    Do photographers as a rule, try to get that shot?  Yes.   Do we always get it?  No.   Does trying to control that moment improve results… rarely.   But if the thoughts at that moment are negative towards the photographer, how could his action be considered a positive in the long run.   Mostly, it creates an environment where all those around get nervous that you will keep interrupting.   AND if the thoughts at that moment are a positive towards the photographer who did not push and direct the wedding, then how could the result of not getting the shot, later be considered a negative?

 

Being an artist, is more than just using that word.   Being an artist, involves giving much thought to every moment, and considering options.    There are so many emotional things happening all around.   I have been known, to choose to remain behind the Chupah in sometimes when they are facing in that direction.  For the moment the Groom chooses to break the glass, his face, and the faces of those watching, are more expressive, than a boring black and white action shot.   Keep in mind, that even a “perfect” breaking shot, does not prove the glass broke.  This is not the video.   You see the raised shoe.   Did it make contact, and get results?

 

I had been taught by very experienced photographers, years ago, that invariably the most important shot is the one missed!   It sounds cynical, but that is the way it often seems.   Why is it that in many cases where we can get the breaking shot, it is not chosen in the  book?  Then, when we do not get the shot, but we have incredible emotional, meaningful shots of the rest of the ceremony, then suddenly, the breaking shot is “ the most important!”  “You got to have it!”  “Every album, I have ever seen has it!”

 

So wouldn’t it be good, if there was some thought about this before the wedding?   If it is so important, shouldn’t everyone involved be sure to help the photographer to get it?   If it is so important, can he be excused, and even expected to push, and prod to get that all important shot, even if he does distract, disturb, and detract from the beautiful, sacred, and spiritual moment?

 

I do not believe your event, should become a pushing and shoving press conference.  Photographers,  need to be sensitive to many things, and to make important value judgments.   Often, by choosing not to attempt an unlikely stereotypical shot, much more meaningful and emotional shots can be obtained.

 

Frankly, the rare photographer who is sensitive enough to think about all this, and who must be sure to be up to the challenge technically, and artistically at every moment, both evenings and weekends, might not want to hear, that the most important picture was missed, when on Wednesday afternoon, nine months after he has lost most memory of all the details of the event, the client comes to finally choose their photos for the book and says, that the most important photo of the whole wedding, is not there!  How could that be?!?

 

Always being thrust into an un-winnable situation, makes one cynical.   Why not discuss what the photographer’s job is before the event!   When you pay more for a concerned and qualified artist, you get much more than a picture taker.  Your photographer should want to do justice to the event, its participants, and the craft that only a few photographers  have  worked hard to perfect.

 

Knowing what your goals are, and understanding that they may not always be about getting the stereotypical shots, but rather ones which truly make you event, and you special, may help you appreciate most what you have, that the glass is really half full, not missing.

 

Originally published in Photo Prose by Gary Rabenko during 2005-2009,
in 5 Towns Jewish Times  http://5tjt.com/